Recovering from a setback when you struggle with illness can feel like an impossible task. I was recently rejected from a job, the first one I had mustered up the courage to apply for since my most recent breakdown, and it has severely affected my confidence. I am afraid to try again, because my fear of rejection is so strong, and my anxiety reinforces that fear using the recent rejection as evidence. Finding the motivation to move on from issues like this can be an enormous struggle. It is possible, but it takes time, and that's something you need to accept - just because other people do it faster doesn't mean you are a failure. You are allowed to take as much time as you need.
TW: discussions of past suicidal ideations I have come to the realisation lately that I have a whole lifetime stretched ahead of me. I spent most of my adolescent years solidly convinced I wasn't going to hit the age of 21. I was sure that by then, my depression would have overwhelmed me to the point that I would choose to end my life. Suicide wasn't a possibility - it was a certainty, a depressing but inevitable exit to the tunnel that was my life. I am 21 now, only a couple of months shy of 22, and I'm still alive. This is something that would have been a great shock to my younger self, and if you'd told me a few years ago that not only would I survive to the age of 21 but I would actually start to recover and feel hopeful again, I would have nodded and smiled and in my head absolutely refused to believe you. I know people say life is short, but when you're convinced you have much less of it than other people and then it suddenly turns out you have decades lon...